A lovely Saturday..
Coolness in the air and calmness in the mind. After a long day, I am enjoying the gift of nature. The day started with a good talk with my husband, my near and dear for everything and anything. Yes.. These are some precious moments when I talk both valuable and absurd whatever there are in my mind. And he patiently listens to all of them.
This is the third week I am spending in Scottsdale and now I am feeling myself again free to live here. Today, one of the best day in my life as I got a very good solution to settle down my life with my husband and got a time line too. Feeling relaxed!!!!
Last weekend was my first visit to outside Scottsdale to San Diego. There I saw the real society of United States of America. People do not have time to wait for anybody. People do not care for any body. On a positive front, people do not need anybody to enjoy their lives. It was a good trip to visit a nice place of California State. The journey was with manager and family. So it was an addition for me to observe the child of manager and how they are managing their child. He does not have a good reputation in team. But it was good that he took us with him. But he was so funny. Every time he forgets the car key :). It might be around ten times he forgot some keys.
On day 1, we first visited sea beach of Pacific ocean. It was cool and freezing. I was nostalgic of my Puri beach trip. But scenario was different. Here people were jogging, cycling. Unlike Puri, where most of the people used to bath. Then we started for museum of natural history. There I visited many a things like dolphin, dinosaurs and many collections. We saw three 3D shows. It reminded me of my first 3D show that I had seen with my husband in Kolkata. I had slept during that time. But this time I was awake :)and seen everything that was there. In the evening we were again on sea beach to enjoy sunset. I was forcefully sat on a rollercoaster. Again same case, in Kolkata I had reluctantly sat with Kishan. But this time, I could not deny and had to sit. It was horrible. I cannot enjoy such things. Then we got into a Mexican restaurant. Food is what I can never ever like. I could not decode whether it was chicken or vegetables only. Still I had to. There was a beautiful sunset view beyond the horizon of pacific ocean along with the rainbow. I loved that place. It was serene. I wanted somebody very close to me or completely lonely for some time to enjoy that beauty of nature.
It was time to be back to hotel room. Hotel rooms were so organized. Everything was there. Alas! In a big bed I had to sleep alone.
Journey began for day two to the SeaWorld of San Diego. The flowers were lovely. It was full of colors. I enjoyed everything there. Though there was a missing factor inbuilt within me, place was really awesome. I see many things for first time in my life. There were Samu, the killing whale; sea lions, dolphins, penguins, sharks and innumerable water inhabitants. The trained Samus were playful and were acting like anything. I had just heard of dolphins and heard of their amiable behavior. But it was unbelievable to real eyes to see what they can do. It was nice to see the organizational behavior and the maintenance of the whole place.
On the other hand, I was not able to enjoy everything due to heavy missing factor that was cursing me from within. I finally bought a DVD to show Samu’s acting’s to my near and dear ones. In spite of so many beautiful things around me, I was feeling like crying from within. It was reminding me of Ani, with whom I had roamed many small places of Bhubaneswar. I was feeling as if I do not deserve so many things of life, when in return I am not able to give anything to the personalities who have made me to reach here. We finally came back to hotel around eight in the night. The night was pathetic for me. Kishan was online to talk with me. He was not at all happy. He had just returned from Bhubaneswar to Kolkata with the same deprivation of humanity of people in his heart and mind. I have seen the way he is treated in Bhubaneswar and now it is too difficult because nobody is there. I chatted many things with him till he felt bit relaxed. As usual, hardly he speaks the sorrows of his heart. I hated everything that I had given to enjoy. I could not sleep on that delicious bed. I could not eat even. I was feeling like returning back to India.
It was the last day for us in San Diego. We visited some beautiful sea beaches. I wished to spend some time there alone to speak with nature. We saw two more museums of Art and Culture and of Human. It was then time to return back to Scottsdale. We started around six from San Diego. It was a cool night journey on car. I was sitting alone with the little daughter Lipi on the last seat. She was sleeping on my lap. I was in deep thoughts enjoying the beautiful night. There were snowy white hills in both sides of the road. I saw a full moon after a long days. I could not able to sleep and waste that beautiful time. It was just time for me. To think of myself. To be within me. Infact, I regained some of my inner energy to think of nature and to think of life. I was imagining of a baby of my own, which I can gift and will be a gift to my own too. The whole journey gave a lot of strength.
The end of trip to San Diego.
How to end? May be I will be able to edit if I want to have a good end of it It is just a part of life. The people of a high profile society take a break from regular life to enjoy. I never had imagined of such things. This artificial sugar was never added to life where I had lived my life… Our regular life and the joy and sorrows in the small home are just the great movies for me. Now life style is changing. I have travelled a long path. The path is so long when I take a look back!!!!
From where I started to where I am today
The journey has been long & tiring
from nothing to some thing I am today
It’s not been an easy journey.
Still Fly with the wings of the thought
feel with the wisdom of yesterday
burry the sorrow, make place for the new
rejoice in what will come and dare
give way, don't let nothing frighten you
just make the journey of the heart!!!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Journey To US
Journey to US..
One more stepping stone in my life..
My journey to US is dedicated to my husband for all his attempts to move a shy girl of a remote village of India to the most powerful country of world where everybody has a dream to land in.
I will not call it “A dream came true”, because to be in US was beyond all my dreams. It’s all due to my husband for his vision to show his wife to the entire world as “Different than others”. He is more of a guide to me than a husband. I always used to pray Lord Gopal not to give me anything but just to guide me with His unseen hands. It might be the reason why He gifted me a wonderful friend to guide me in all phases of life.
It all started when he told me to ask for an onsite opportunity in office. Till that time, I did not know that I would be eligible to go to onsite. I was not confident enough to show my own calibers. Still it worked. I was given the opportunity and the process started officially.
Though it was due to my own mistake, the processing path was not easy for me. I lost my passport due to my own ignorance. But the struggle was ultimate to get a duplicate passport. I admit that I got it done without any external help. But my husband was like a wonderful power behind me to get it done. He never gave a word of sympathy or a word of love. But his encouragement to walk alone had given me all the strength. He used to show everything in action. Unlike rest, I never got any luxurious gift, but his constant support had made me so weak without him. At times I failed to rise to his level of thoughts. I blamed him. I scolded him. I used harsh words for him. It was just to hear a word of sympathy from him. Wanted to hear a word of love. And ironically, he was tougher. This used to again remind me that I am wife of a unique personality. I again used to stand to walk alone for the next event. At last after a struggle of four and half a month, I got my passport. Till that time, all my happiness to get it had vanished.
My onsite trip was getting confirmed. Day by day, I was getting nervous. My dear husband was getting silent. The silence was terrific. He was so distressed that I was not able to face him. In that silence, he did everything for me starting from the shopping till the tips to reach at onsite and on American life style. I wanted him to tell something from his heart. But he was silent. He hardly used to break his emotions.
Nothing was enough. Just before a fortnight of my onsite travel, our nephew accidentally got into a mild brain hemorrhage. He spent time in hospital. We did not have time to talk and not even to finish up my preparation for the trip. I was also worried and concerned. But harsh truth was at times I was becoming selfish too to spend a bit of time with my husband from whom I was departing in some countable days. My husband had no time for himself. He did whatever he could.
I was just observing a person sacrificing his happiness and life for everybody. My respect for him was rising to peak. Yes, he deserved a lot too.
He was scattered with sorrows. And he broke his emotions admitting that he would not be able to live alone. It was the weakest moment for me.
We were packed up with events. We had to attend my brother’s marriage. It was just before four days of my scheduled trip. I did not have any interest to leave everything and come to US alone.. I was feeling weak. My husband as ever, did everything. He packed my baggage too. Simultaneously he was a husband, a father and a master for me.
My journey started on the scheduled date. I had cried for whole of the day. The departure was tough for me. It was tougher for him. He had gone silent. I left him. I could not look into his eyes. It was so painful. He was standing at the gate for an hour after I left. Later he had called up everybody he could to take care of me.
It was time for me to start life alone. I do not have anything to contact him too. I started my first flight journey to Frankfurt. Everything was new for me… The rules of flight, communicating with people and the whole path. I saw every co-passenger around me had their spouses and kids. I am the only single passenger. I was missing my husband. I could not eat anything even. Finally I landed in Frankfurt. It was freezing there. There was snowfall outside. It was a new experience for me. I started for my next flight. I had to search for the gate where I was supposed to catch my next flight. It took almost two hours for me. I was seeing the big airport for the first time. Still there was three hours in my hand to rest. I searched for a communicating device to convey I had reached in Frankfurt. However I saw both internet and phone needed Euros and I did not have it. As already suggested by my husband, I asked a person to know how to use wi-fi facility. He was an Indian, but was too arrogant. It was not helpful. I stopped trying and took rest. At the scheduled time, I took flight for Denver. There I met a co-passenger from Germany. She was crying. I again felt crying. I talked to her. The journey was better. I landed in US. Again there were formalities. I was again asked the same question with strange eyes. So you are going to live away from your husband for a year. It was a big yes from my side. But I asked to myself “how”. Anyways I was in hurry to take my flight to Phoenix. I caught the flight just before six minutes. After two hours, I reached at my destination. My teammates were waiting for me. I talked to my husband after 34 hours. He felt so relaxed.
I saw US life style. My new life started at that moment. In that night, I went to Walmart to buy beddings. I went to throw garbage after I reached in house. It was time to rest then. I called up Bapa from my roommate’s free phone. He cried as I talked to him. He told me the story when I was an infant of seven days. Everybody thought I was dead and were preparing for my funeral. Luckily I was not. And now that girl was in US!! Yes, it was journey of a girl from the remote village to America.
Everything is settled. Now I do not have anything to give to my dearest husband who was the driving force behind all these. He is alone and distressed. I pray to Lord Gopal to be with him and give him all strength.
Life will go on!!!
One more stepping stone in my life..
My journey to US is dedicated to my husband for all his attempts to move a shy girl of a remote village of India to the most powerful country of world where everybody has a dream to land in.
I will not call it “A dream came true”, because to be in US was beyond all my dreams. It’s all due to my husband for his vision to show his wife to the entire world as “Different than others”. He is more of a guide to me than a husband. I always used to pray Lord Gopal not to give me anything but just to guide me with His unseen hands. It might be the reason why He gifted me a wonderful friend to guide me in all phases of life.
It all started when he told me to ask for an onsite opportunity in office. Till that time, I did not know that I would be eligible to go to onsite. I was not confident enough to show my own calibers. Still it worked. I was given the opportunity and the process started officially.
Though it was due to my own mistake, the processing path was not easy for me. I lost my passport due to my own ignorance. But the struggle was ultimate to get a duplicate passport. I admit that I got it done without any external help. But my husband was like a wonderful power behind me to get it done. He never gave a word of sympathy or a word of love. But his encouragement to walk alone had given me all the strength. He used to show everything in action. Unlike rest, I never got any luxurious gift, but his constant support had made me so weak without him. At times I failed to rise to his level of thoughts. I blamed him. I scolded him. I used harsh words for him. It was just to hear a word of sympathy from him. Wanted to hear a word of love. And ironically, he was tougher. This used to again remind me that I am wife of a unique personality. I again used to stand to walk alone for the next event. At last after a struggle of four and half a month, I got my passport. Till that time, all my happiness to get it had vanished.
My onsite trip was getting confirmed. Day by day, I was getting nervous. My dear husband was getting silent. The silence was terrific. He was so distressed that I was not able to face him. In that silence, he did everything for me starting from the shopping till the tips to reach at onsite and on American life style. I wanted him to tell something from his heart. But he was silent. He hardly used to break his emotions.
Nothing was enough. Just before a fortnight of my onsite travel, our nephew accidentally got into a mild brain hemorrhage. He spent time in hospital. We did not have time to talk and not even to finish up my preparation for the trip. I was also worried and concerned. But harsh truth was at times I was becoming selfish too to spend a bit of time with my husband from whom I was departing in some countable days. My husband had no time for himself. He did whatever he could.
I was just observing a person sacrificing his happiness and life for everybody. My respect for him was rising to peak. Yes, he deserved a lot too.
He was scattered with sorrows. And he broke his emotions admitting that he would not be able to live alone. It was the weakest moment for me.
We were packed up with events. We had to attend my brother’s marriage. It was just before four days of my scheduled trip. I did not have any interest to leave everything and come to US alone.. I was feeling weak. My husband as ever, did everything. He packed my baggage too. Simultaneously he was a husband, a father and a master for me.
My journey started on the scheduled date. I had cried for whole of the day. The departure was tough for me. It was tougher for him. He had gone silent. I left him. I could not look into his eyes. It was so painful. He was standing at the gate for an hour after I left. Later he had called up everybody he could to take care of me.
It was time for me to start life alone. I do not have anything to contact him too. I started my first flight journey to Frankfurt. Everything was new for me… The rules of flight, communicating with people and the whole path. I saw every co-passenger around me had their spouses and kids. I am the only single passenger. I was missing my husband. I could not eat anything even. Finally I landed in Frankfurt. It was freezing there. There was snowfall outside. It was a new experience for me. I started for my next flight. I had to search for the gate where I was supposed to catch my next flight. It took almost two hours for me. I was seeing the big airport for the first time. Still there was three hours in my hand to rest. I searched for a communicating device to convey I had reached in Frankfurt. However I saw both internet and phone needed Euros and I did not have it. As already suggested by my husband, I asked a person to know how to use wi-fi facility. He was an Indian, but was too arrogant. It was not helpful. I stopped trying and took rest. At the scheduled time, I took flight for Denver. There I met a co-passenger from Germany. She was crying. I again felt crying. I talked to her. The journey was better. I landed in US. Again there were formalities. I was again asked the same question with strange eyes. So you are going to live away from your husband for a year. It was a big yes from my side. But I asked to myself “how”. Anyways I was in hurry to take my flight to Phoenix. I caught the flight just before six minutes. After two hours, I reached at my destination. My teammates were waiting for me. I talked to my husband after 34 hours. He felt so relaxed.
I saw US life style. My new life started at that moment. In that night, I went to Walmart to buy beddings. I went to throw garbage after I reached in house. It was time to rest then. I called up Bapa from my roommate’s free phone. He cried as I talked to him. He told me the story when I was an infant of seven days. Everybody thought I was dead and were preparing for my funeral. Luckily I was not. And now that girl was in US!! Yes, it was journey of a girl from the remote village to America.
Everything is settled. Now I do not have anything to give to my dearest husband who was the driving force behind all these. He is alone and distressed. I pray to Lord Gopal to be with him and give him all strength.
Life will go on!!!
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